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My name is Diane. I wish I could tell you that I am the perfect mother and wife. But I am not. In fact, I created this blog with the hopes that it would help me to become a better everything. I want to find solutions to everyday issues that most parents and women have. I want to share these solutions with you and hope that you will share your advice with me as well. Thank you and welcome.

About Me

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I am a mother of 4 beautiful girls. Each one special in their own way. I have a wonderful husband who makes me laugh everyday. He reminds me how good it is to be able to love someone so deeply and truly. I am a happy person who wants to be able to manage my family and home life without totally losing my mind over an occasional mishap or disappearance of socks. I live for my family but understand that sometimes I need a little me time. I enjoy crafts, holidays, cooking, and wish I was a better housekeeper. But that's part of why I am doing this. To become better!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

A slap in the face-hurts.

How do you tell someone you love that they hurt you so much you want to scream? Now, how do you do this knowing full well that this person is going to be very angry and tell you that you are wrong for focusing on something so petty during a time when we should be focused on more important issues at hand? Are you supposed to turn the other way and ignore your instincts or intuition because it's a rough time? A few days ago I wrote about my BFF making a new friend. Well, this friendship has been growing for almost two years now. I have expressed my concerns and recently they have been met with anger and frustration. Times are tough, no lie, but I can't ignore what I see right in front of me. Today, I felt a slap in the face once again. My BFF got bad news and called me to let me know. I was worried, very worried-and scared. I was sad for them and wanted to comfort them as much as I could. Then later that evening my BFF got some good news (while I was in their presence). I felt happy for them and relieved. But then my BFF did something that made me think and take a deep breath. They called their new friend, at first to ask a question, but of course to let them know the good news. I feel like I only know about things that are happening because my BFF is obligated to tell me and not because they actually value my opinion or feelings. I feel useless, un-needed, un-wanted. What would really happen if I just stopped talking? Would they even notice? What if I stopped caring and loving so much? Would it hurt less? That's not me. I have a big heart. I can't stop loving someone who means so much to me, but still I wonder, would we be happier? Well, I've been trying this remedy for a few weeks now and my BFF seems happier. "Shut-up and take it I suppose!" If it all falls apart, I can't say I didn't try. I did, I tried hard. I tried talking, crying, and now I feel like giving up. Now, I'm tired and just want to be left to my thoughts. My deep, sad, and lonely thoughts. I think I need to do some major soul-searching and figure out what I really need out of this friendship and if it's too late.

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